To a regular person, they’re just tools. . .
A chef uses them to prepare a meal.
A surgeon uses them to save lives.
To the maniacs in this story, however. . .
Theirs is a much darker purpose.
For them, the first cut is NOT the deepest. It’s just the beginning. . .
This is Book 1 in the Maniacs with Knives Series, from #MichiganMadman Shaun Hupp’s Unapologetic Horror Line.
The author is NOT sorry this book contains: Gore, violence, dismemberment, rape, swearing, and a dozen other things you wouldn’t want your grandmother to talk about at her Sunday church group. If you’re a sensitive reader, this book is probably NOT for you.
IT’S TIME TO MEET YOUR MAIN MANIACS!
Jen & Troy – Jen’s parents are out of town, and she just wants to have a little fun with her boyfriend, Troy. She hears noises and thinks that Troy, being the wonderful boyfriend that he is, has snuck inside while she was in the shower to fulfill one of her kinkier fantasies. She finally finds him, but realizes that something is wrong when he turns around… Troy wouldn’t be wearing her dad’s face as a mask. Oh shit!
“Guys that wear other peoples faces don’t get scared.”
Kim & Rich have been married for 5 years. She loves him, and he beats her. But he always says he’s sorry, so it’s OK (I just rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain). The past couple of days have been especially bad, though – so Kim ruining tonight’s dinner was the straw that broke Rich’s back. What happened next was just a simple accident – one that could have been avoided if they had any ketchup in the house.
Alex & Owen begin as strangers in a bar, drinking & telling stories. The tales get taller as they tend to do when alcohol is involved, so can we believe Owen when he confesses that he’s the infamous Bay River Slasher – the most prolific serial killer to never get caught? Probably, because the ‘Holy Shit’ moment comes when Alex finally tells Owen who HE really is.
Ben & Erin are my absolute favorite characters! ‘Ben’ – The Artist, and Erin – The Masterpiece. ‘Ben’ has been reading too many books by Matt Shaw, and wants to be Art when he grows up. Erin just wants these things taken off of her face!
Loc 645 / 32% Erin is forced to look in the mirror after her first session with The Artist. She has her eight fingers and two thumbs sewn onto her face – read the story for more details.
Aannddd… this is what I pictured…
Each story continues as the book progresses, meshing together here and there, and proving to be one of my main sources of hilarity so far this year! ESPECIALLY ‘Ben’ & Erin’s parts. I have FIVE highlights showing where I busted out laughing, and exactly what I was thinking as I tried not to pee my pants, (see gifs above for an example). (The tool shown is a costotome, something The Artist likes to use when he’s feeling creative. I needed to see it, so I thought you’d enjoy it, too.) I don’t want to spoil all the fun, so I’ll refrain from sharing all my twisted, and hilarious thoughts. Just promise me one thing… when you’re reading this book and you get to Loc 1443, play ‘BOING!’ sound effect. Then finish up and come back here so we can chat and giggle!
Peace, Love & Necrophilia ♥