“Every day’s a sunshiny day when you don’t have maggots and spiders eating your guts.” -Stanley Dabernath
Stanley Dabernath is nobody special. He’s just a regular guy, who hates every minute of his miserable existence. $60,000 in debt, eating ramen noodles three times a day, and recently homeless since he just got evicted from his apartment.
His video distribution company, Demented Whackos, should have made him a millionaire, not a 35 year old man who lives where he works, and steals booze from his parent’s house. He won’t give up, though! All he needs is one sicko product to put Demented Whackos Video on the map, and he’s working on that project right now!
EXTREME FISHING is going to be a hit, he can feel it! Heavy metal music, gratuitous T & A, explosions, beatings, and of course… buckets of blood & guts! THIS is going to be the one, EXTREME FISHING is going to turn things around for poor Stanley Dabernath! Things might not be so bad for him after all, and he starts to feel better than he has in a very long time. Hey, he even jumped out of of the way and avoided being hit by the semi-truck that was barreling towards him! Quick moves! Nice going, Stanley!
Too bad his luck hadn’t changed completely. The truck, the same one that narrowly missed hitting Stanley, tipped over and crashed down on his left foot. If his luck had changed just a bit more, then he would have limped away. Sadly, Life said “Hahaha! Nope!”
Stanley found no humor in his situation as the truck spilled it’s contents all over him, and he drowned right there.
BIZARRE REALITY is taking a huge chance by airing a prime time TV special – LIVE. They have Project Second Chance as a guest, and have spent major cash advertising tonight’s show. “Witness the very first resurrection of a human corpse on LIVE TV!”
No spoilers here, really. If it didn’t work, we wouldn’t have a story! The corpse is Stanley Dabernath, and the scientists have successfully reanimated him for the entire viewing audience.
He’s alive… ALIVE! Muah-ha-ha-ha…
Alive, but not without some damage – he had started to decay a bit, so his coloring is kind of grey, and he smells none too fresh. You don’t need to be pretty to become a huge celebrity these days, and that’s exactly what Stanley has become. A celebrity with hated a nickname! The press started calling him ‘The Incredible Mr. Corpse’, then the world follows suit. Despite the new moniker, Mr. Corpse has finally made it. Fame, wealth, groupies… he’s living the dream. He even has a personal assistant, Veronica, to help him adjust to the lifestyle. She’s earning her salary, though – You can take the life out of Stanley, but you can’t remove the personality!
The story follows the transformation – from Stanley to The Incredible Mr. Corpse. Then… the annoying Mr. Corpse, the big-headed Mr. Corpse, the impossible Mr. Corpse… Eventually, the curious Mr. Corpse realizes that Project Second Chance may not be what they seem.
This is another novel by Jeff Strand that kept me laughing from start to finish. It’s dedicated to his wife, and I’ve often wondered if all of these characters stem from his everyday sense of humor. She must be cracking up all the time! Or, on the verge of smothering him with a pillow 😉
Along with Stanley’s shenanigans and smart assery, there are very serious, and sometimes uncomfortable moments. It wouldn’t be a true Strand story if it didn’t make me shed a few tears. Stanley grew as a person when he became a ‘zombie’. He has to learn things the hard way, but he’s a guy that I would love to know IRL, (if he picks up that deodorant gig!).
I don’t know what Stanley’s assistant, Veronica, is thinking – Stanley is VERY quotable…
“If you eat me, you’ll just be a cannibal! And that’s shameful! Nobody likes cannibals!”