I left the house the other day for the first time in IDK how long, and I was primed like this every time I saw a shadow. Social anxiety, who me?
P, L & N💋
I left the house the other day for the first time in IDK how long, and I was primed like this every time I saw a shadow. Social anxiety, who me?
P, L & N💋
Psychology Today reported on Monday that the recent upsurge in domestic violence calls is a direct result of self-isolation and quarantine during the Covid-19 pandemic. Well, I for one, have had enough! #StopBookViolence!
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Very vivid details in this book, I almost puked – good job 👍
I’ve been staying away from the extreme gross-out stuff, so this was a fun escape from Coronageddon.
I love the cat running around in this story!
I don’t know if Eileen Cook will appreciate my #MichiganMadmen, or #HometownHorror tags, so I’ll start her off slowly with #HometownAuthors.
❝ Revenge is a tricky thing❞
No, this is not one from my normally blood-soaked bookshelf, but I saw it, wanted it, read it – and I’m happy I did, it was fun!
❝ The Count of Monte Cristo meets Mean Girls❞
I added a couple more of her titles to my TBR – check her out 🙂
* originally published for the 2013 Holiday Horror Binge & Purge event on DECEMBER 29, 2013
I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙ – (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating!
I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than a Cannibal in Fat Camp! ::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!
“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”
“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”
For last year’s ‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’ event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, was A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!) This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmas is one of the two.
INTRODUCTION: Kevin Strange
Kafka’s Run by Billy Tea:
The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.
The Unlisted by Jesse Wheeler:
YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!
Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!
Dear Santa Claus by K.M. Tepe:
A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…
*Message for K.M. Tepe:
Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today.
After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!
Blood On The Highway by Lindsey Goddard:
The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species.
A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!
Kathi the Sexy Elf by Rich Bottles Jr.:
A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa…
I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.
Christmas with the Family by Jonathan Byrd:
This one should be called “A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”.
Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include –
BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂
The Witch who Fucked Christmas by Kevin Strange:
This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine.
Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you?
Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailer
Hack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube
I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday by Mike Lombardo:
Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo ♥
I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished.
I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published.
This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page
**If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***
A VERY STRANGEHOUSE CHRISTMAS on Goodreads
Kevin Strange on Goodreads
K.M. Tepe on Goodreads
Rich Bottles Jr. on Goodreads
Mike Lombardo on Goodreads
Lindsey Goddard on Goodreads
Jesse Wheeler on Goodreads
Billy Tea on Goodreads
M.P. Johnson on Goodreads
Jonathan Byrd on Goodreads
DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW KEVIN STRANGE?
Take this quiz and find out!! Post your results in the comments, I’d love to see them – I’ll Make sure that I get a link to Kevin, so he can see your results, too!
MORE SHB ANTHOLOGIES – GET SOME STRANGE!
The Last Gig On Planet Earth And Other Strange Stories
Strange Versus Lovecraft
Tales of Questionable Taste
Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang!
Scary Fucking Stories: A Strange Collection
VOYEURISM, in 140 characters or less –
Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr.
“[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley”
‘Hellhole West Virginia‘
“Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.”
“What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.”
*I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)
Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’s Dinner at the Vomitropolis – I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.
Visit the official website of Mike Lombardo’s Reel Splatter Productions! They’re a small independent horror-comedy troupe based out of Lancaster, Pennsylvania whose goal is to prove artistic expression can involve necrophilia & chainsaws! Visit RSP now, and see some horrible monstrosities commit unspeakable acts! YAY!!
Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled ‘I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY‘ – Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released ‘THE STALL‘ on DVD and it is ready to ship!
It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.
A Very StrangeHouse Christmas on Amazon
Warning: This book contains – A sadistic mortician, demonic teddies, murderous sparrows, sentient robots, scenes of the apocalypse, feeders, lycanthropes, serial-killers, war, jealous housewives, cannibalism, creepy-ass neighbours, suicide, flesh-eating parasites, zombies, cowboys, mothmen, Nyogtha, Appalachian folklore, cancer, asteroids, invisible crocodiles, and voodoo. A collection of previously published and brand new macabre and weird tales from bestselling British author, Adam Millard.
Putting warning labels on books can be better than recommendations. (rawr!)
This anthology contains a wide variety of horrors told in 25 short stories. Some shorts are new to this collection, with additional shorts having been seen previously in different publications. (They were all new to me this time. Bonus.)
Cuddly & creepy stuffed animals, ancient legends re-imagined, and even some disturbing stories of love. In Can You Read That Asteroid from Here? I learned some important tips to follow if I ever get my interstellar drivers license, (‘lefty brakey, righty speedy.’) When I started reading Hair, I thought that Joy Killar had secretly gotten to Adam and had him write about the horrors of finding my stray hairs EVERYWHERE, and about them secretly plotting her imminent demise. But, it was a story about a serial killer who might have appreciated my shedding. Stories like Bug Boy, and 7:17 From Suicide Station didn’t hold back on the ‘bum me out’ vibes, but there were plenty of giggles to even things out. When Gladys confronted her husband about his mistress, her question was ‘What’s She Got That I Haven’t?’, you can imagine the multiple replies that could have fit. But, in the end, there was only one answer. If you’ve read Adam Millard before, you know to expect some dark humor peppered throughout his work. What surprised, (and delighted), me were the Easter Eggs hidden within. I love when authors slyly reference their other works, or revisit characters from other stories. I’m sure that if I had read more of the Adam’s work prior to reading this – I’d have found more. But, that just makes me look forward to reading this again in the future.
“What a cruel injustice that Stephen King’s Just After Sunset won the Bram Stoker Award for Best Collection while Gleefully Macabre Tales was merely a finalist! Does King’s collection have an awesome wiener dog story? I think not!”
GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES includes 33 of Jeff Strand’s most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, (with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you).
If you’re looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, this is the book for you!
Really, Really Ferocious:
A grumpy old man means business when he says ‘No Solicitors’! HILARIOUS! And, it includes this statement…
“OK, stop poking me with the dog.”
Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic:
Sanity is miserable, and boring. Being insane sounds like much more fun – especially the maniacal giggle. But, how does one become insane?
The odds are in your favor, you’d be crazy not to try again!
Do you watch the extras on your DVD’s?
For me, it depends on the movie, and if I’m too tired to get up to turn off the DVD player. (#FF – Kevin Smith & Judd Apatow have great special features.)
This ss is the ‘watch with director commentary’ option of a snuff film.
Sex Potion #147:
Always follow specific instructions when ingesting potions from a gypsy – you could end up in a very uncomfortable place…
The Three Little Pigs:
The fairy-tale trio has a bloodier time of things in this re-telling of an old favorite.
Everything Has a Purpose:
Everything. I have a funny comment to make, but it would be a spoiler.
Them Old West Mutations:
Freaks of nature, or scientific discovery? This one might bug you a little bit.
If you want to end the life of a family member, do a little research first. Make sure they’re not as spunky as they once were, and be ready for the unexpected!
A Bite For a Bite:
A pissing contest between bros gets serious rather quickly.
Very good short, written in a different kind of style. The story of a couple’s relationship, told through brief glimpses into the important aspects of their lives.
If we all listened to our inner voices, the world would be a very boring place.
Two of Jeff’s entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest.
I don’t know who Cullen Bunn is, but I HAVE to find out!
Richard fights with his terrible cup of coffee, hilarity ensues. I giggled out loud reading this.
Carl has acquired a case of the monthly furries. After hiding away for three years, he’s ready to come out of the Dog House. Come out he does – in a grand fashion!
An Admittedly Pointless But Mercifully Brief Story With Aliens In It:
Another hilariously funny short, with aliens!
Roasting Weenies By Hellfire:
Charlie is a rotten kid. And since writers can dispense ultimate justice, Charlie finds himself in Hell. Even Satan hates whiners, but he does give Charlie a second chance. He sends Charlie back up so he can play a practical joke on someone else the Devil has his eye on. What transpires is a hilariously gory, Jeff Strand version of HOME ALONE.
Grumpy old man, Ray, has had it up to HERE with them damn fool kids tearing apart his scarecrows every night!
Howard, the Tenth Reindeer/Howard Rises Again:
This one started life as a Christmas card – it’s true!
Worth reading if only for the toys – Jeff’s version on Tickle Me Elmo being so wrong that it’s perfect!
The bugs in my brain are making me crazy! Will you help me get them out? Wait! They’re my friends, though.
Cap’n Hank’s Five Alarm Nuclear Lava Wings:
Vincent is a loud-mouthed braggard, and he annoys everyone when he comes into Bernard’s restaurant. He has yelled ‘these wings are for pussys!’ one too many times. So, the boys are going to show him hot wings. And, that Bernie doesn’t take too kindly to customers bad mouthing his food.
A Call For Mr. Potty-Mouth:
A new boogeyman for the kiddies! Too bad my son is too grown up to believe this – it would have come in very handy in my house.
The Bad Man in the Blue House:
Very creepy, and the style adds to the chill factor.
This one is a bit longer, and no comedy here. It’s actually a bit disturbing. A single father, with two kids, tries to keep his demons hidden. But, it might be time for his son to learn about their terrible ‘curse’. Nope, not a werewolf. A real, human monster.
Quincy lost his eyeball in horrifying detail – have I told you that eyeball stuff makes me really squeamish? ::shudders::
Well, I think some of his brain goo leaked out of his eye hole, cuz Quincy is a right loon now!
One of Them:
A young boy visits the freak show at a local carnival, but they may not be as different as he’d hoped.
I’ve had the Social Distortion song ‘Down Here With The Rest of Us’ going through my head all day, and now – it fits perfectly here! Hmmm O.o
A hint about this short story…
Harvey frowned as he opened the envelope. Pure gibberish. What was this, a code?
Remember THINNER? Take note – you don’t want to piss off a gypsy!
The Bad Candy House:
Jeff might slowly be turning into a grumpy old man!
‘Get off my lawn, you hooligans!’
The man in this short story is fed up with those damn fool kids tricking him every Halloween. This year – payback!
A special demented bonus from Jeff! The novella-
Frank is a small time criminal. Robbing places for pocket change isn’t paying his bills, so he takes his chances in the Murder For Hire business. It’s not as easy as he thinks!
Dedicated to all the good, hardworking people in supermarkets and other service industries.
“My gaze falls on the machetes lined up on the magnet strip, immaculate and shiny after soaking in the chlorine solution I use for cleaning. I’ve been reading up online: Chlorine can remove visual evidence of blood, but to completely destroy hemoglobin, so it can’t be detected by forensics, you need a cleaning agent like hydrogen peroxide. Peroxy, the stuff that squirts out of the power hose I use to mop this concrete floor. I’m the last one out at night, so that job falls on me.”
― Zané Sachs, Sadie the Sadist: X-tremely Black Humor/Horror
Like most of us, Sadie feels undervalued and frustrated. Employed by a supermarket, she plots to murder coworkers—or lure them into the employee bathroom for a quickie. Sick of being treated like a robot, she taps into a powerful (and deranged) alter-ego and transforms into Sadie the Sadist.
READER BEWARE: This book contains graphic violence, psycho/sexual incidents, and Sadie’s favorite recipes. X-tremely Black Humor.
Sadie is my new hero, and every time I get that little psychotic itch at work – (or anywhere), I can live vicariously through her!
I love dark humor, and Sadie is a genius. (I literally snorted within the first few pages – she reads a sign posted at her work, and her internal dialog caught me off guard!)
Suzanne read this before I did, and in her words… “Sadie is the female Peter – you’ll love her!” (I know exactly who Suzanne means, but in case you’re new here… Peter is my favorite literary serial killer – Peter Jenkins, from Matt Shaw‘s HAPPY EVER AFTER series.)
She’ll kill ’em, or fuck ’em… depends on her mood, (she is equally creative in both activities). If she’s feeling especially froggy – she’ll do BOTH!
The book includes recipes that sound delicious, and I’m going to sneak a few in to my secret recipe box – including Sadie’s Cooking Tips! (You should be productive while waiting for the dish to cook. You could vacuum. Or, masturbate.)
If you honestly enjoy the same books that I do, then Sadie the Sadist is one that you cannot miss. I was sad when I finished, but I learned that there is a Sadie prequel in the works, and Zané is writing novel of psychological suspense called Jayne Just Watches. Jayne believes that she is dead, and she happens to be Sadie’s neighbor.
One more thing… don’t miss the author’s blog! There is too much awesome to tell you about, so just follow the links below to check it all out for yourself! I got my stalking ahem – fangirling in earlier – Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Goodreads, AuthorGraph… you can connect via ZaneSachs.com.
From the Author ~
Perhaps, one day soon, the perfect novel will be written by artificial intelligence. Until then, Zané offers you her flawed perspective and hopes you find it entertaining.
Contact Zané Sachs ~
Facebook: Zané Sachs, Author
COMING SOON –
Sadie’s Guide to Catching Killers – (A Sadie Novella)
(Prequel to Sadie the Sadist)
The story will explore how Sadie becomes the girl we know and love. And it will include helpful advice like:
10 Signs Someone is a Low-Life Liar
You can get SADIE THE SADIST from Amazon –