Categories
book discussions Book Reviews YA

I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS by Jeff Strand

Henry Lambert, a self-proclaimed geek, but definitely not a wuss, sits and watches the worst You-Tube video ever produced. His dad, on the other hand, thinks the exact opposite.
Two weeks at Strongwoods Survival Camp could be a life changing experience for his son. But Harry… he has a very bad feeling about it.

Bad Feeling.Cover

This book has all the snark of Jeff Strand, without the swearing, horror, or blood. That’s because it’s one of the YA titles available from this author, but don’t let that scare you away. I recommend it to everyone, regardless of age.

His previous novel for young adults was A BAD DAY FOR VOODOO, which was called “The greatest book ever written in the entire history of human existence,” by somebody, somewhere.

I think it would have been a neat concept if this adventure were experienced by a young Andrew Mayhem! Two weeks at survival camp with his best friend Roger, and a love-at-first-sight meeting with a girl named Helen from a neighboring camp – tell me that wouldn’t be awesome!

Even in a witty YA book about some very indoorsy kids spending two weeks at a survivalist camp, the author had to throw in an emotional smack upside my head. I swear, at one point during every single book of Jeff’s that I read – I put the book down on my lap, look at my husband (sometimes with tears, sometimes just pouting), an tell him that I’ll be sending a very strongly worded e-mail to Jeff. Then he says “who’s Jeff?”, followed by our favorite tv commercial quote…“he sounds hideous.”

Don't just survive - SurThrive!
Don’t just survive – SurThrive!

25 WILDERNESS SURVIVAL TIPS! are included throughout the book. Helpful hints to not just survive the deep, dark woods – but to sur-thrive!
OK, no. Not really.
25 tips to help make you less of a wuss before you die?
Yeah, let’s go with that.

WARNING
I will also be using the following quote whenever I need to sound like a bad-ass, (or in any event when conversation lags for more than 37 seconds).
“I killed a man just to finger-paint a picture of a duck with his blood.”
Suck-it Johnny Cash, this is WAY tougher. (Just kidding! Love me some JC ❤ )

I Have a Bad Feeling About This on Amazon
I Have a Bad Feeling About This on Goodreads
I Have a Bad Feeling About This on Gleefully Macabre

Categories
Book Reviews Dark Humor Humor New Release

LARRY by Adam Millard

cover

In 1956, a young boy drowned in Crystal Lake. It was a tragedy that could have been avoided, if the camp counselors weren’t dirty sinners! Sneaking off for a little hanky panky instead of watching the campers turned out to be a mistake that the world paid for – thirteen times.

At the same time, but a different place, young Larry Travers is being terrorized by his fellow campers on the banks of Diamond Creek.
This is not a summer of love.

In 1975, Larry Travers sharpens his axe, dons his new mask, and returns to Camp Diamond Creek after almost twenty years. This is the year that ‘Pigface’ gets his revenge! 1975 becomes the summer of slaughter, and Pigface is happier than a pig in shit! He loves it so much, that he returns in ’76, ’77, and ’78.

Hatchet

The summer of ’78 didn’t end well. His killing spree was fantastic, and he had a respectable body count. But, when he was ready to abide by the new rules, and let the final girl walk free – she double crossed him!
Almost becoming bacon made Larry Pigface Travers rethink his career. If it were ten years later, Larry would have quoted Murtaugh… because he was indeed ‘gettin too old for this shit’.

That pretty much brings us up to speed!

welcome

Present day – The summer of 2014
A new generation of Happy Campers are about to take part in the latest sequel in the Diamond Creek franchise. Paying homage to the greats, this batch of soon to be corpses have very familiar names – Voorhees, Loomis, Bateman, and Myers – to name but a few. For that extra ::wink wink nudge nudge::, there’s Lakresha, whose last name might as well be Token, because we know she’s not going to see the dawn.
Following a very specific pattern, on the way to Diamond Creek, they roll into a dilapidated gas station – and the first harbinger. They get their “damn fool kids never learn” words of wisdom, some gas, a case of the willies, and they’re on their way!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
A now sixty-five year old Larry Travers is having some quality time with Wilber – (a pig by any other name would be a travesty), and his Ma. Larry is feeling plucky, and decides it’s time for some more fun! He’s still a homicidal lunatic at heart, and the heart is willing.
His bones & joints are singing a different tune, but, he just needs to warm up. Stretch a little. It will be fine…

This was one of the funnest books I’ve read in a long time!
I’m a huge fan of 70’s horror, and 80’s cheese – and Adam Millard captured all the best parts of the era.
When House Of 1000 Corpses was finally released – I was in line on opening night. As a dedicated Fangoria reader, I had been following the progress of the film, and every obstacle that got in Rob Zombie’s way while trying to get it released.
The lights in the theater dimmed, the music started, and I was whisked back in time – back to the horror of the late 70’s. He kept the music authentic, and the film even had that grainy look. Plus, you know…Bill Mosley.
It was perfection.

Reading LARRY gave me that feeling.
I can’t think of any higher praise than that.

Check out other titles from Adam Millard on his Amazon page, and on Crowded Quarantine Publications.

Start your stalking with his Facebook page, progress to his Twitter feed, and when you’re feeling especially froggy – you can send gifts & declarations of love via e-mail.

Categories
Book Reviews Fiction Horror Short Story

RUN, TEDDY BEAR, RUN By Jimmy Pudge

Run, Teddy Bear, Run
By Jimmy Pudge

It’s been 20 years since The Teddy Bear Killer claimed his last victims. Most people think he’s either been captured on an unrelated crime, or he’s dead. People who form gruesome totem-poles out of teenagers heads don’t just STOP. Right?

TBK, as he prefers, sees that someone is going to reopen his old stomping grounds, Camp Tittycock, and he can hardly contain his excitement! 20 years is a long time… He goes to his storage unit to relive some old memories, and relieve some new tensions amid all his trophies.

The ‘Party Bear’ costume is a little snug around the middle.
The machete is a little rusted & stained with past.
But those feelings haven’t changed.
The urge to kill came upon him fast & hard.
Not even stopping to think, The Teddy Bear Killer is off to Camp Tittycock, ready to introduce the new generation of campers to the horrors of TBK.

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I had fun reading this short by J.P. & he’s a fun guy to know!

His Blog posts are a riot! MUCH LOVE WITH JIMMY PUDGE

A very funny guy to be Facebook friends with

Here’s the Facebook page for Imperial Youth Review

And, here you can find another collection of great posts