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Audio Dark Humor Family Horror Humor Music Random Funny Shit Shenanigans Video

“LEATHERFACE – “SAWIN’ YOU APART” (ACHY BREAKY HEART PARODY)”

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book discussions Humor Satire Shenanigans

Keeping Your Sanity When Dealing With Bad Reviews

REACTING TO BAD REVIEWS ~

Tips and Tricks from SG

You just read a very negative review of your work on a popular website – now what? 

– First things first –  react immediately.
Drink. Heavily, if need be.
Shop. Buying something expensive helps.
– Anonymously mail a dead fish to the reviewer who spoke such blasphemy against your book.
Respond to their review, explaining why they are an ignorant douche-bag.
Make them retract the review. Some ways include coercion, extortion, blackmail, kidnapping, and torture…
Review them.
Print out your bad reviews, then burn them. Or wallpaper your office – for motivation.
Post reviewer’s address online, and encourage your fans to mail them …

THIS is how some horror authors handle bad reviews from worse reviewers…

           download

Comment and tell us YOUR coping skills!

Borrowed from Ways Authors to Handle Bad Reviews Originally posted on INDIE AUTHOR NEWS 3/15/15 

I’ve never done this before, but this post is dedicated to Sea Caummisar and [Her] My #1 Fan.

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book discussions Book Reviews Horror Humor

‘FUCKNESS’ – A Re-Read Turned Into Something Better Than The Original!

Fuckness by Andersen Prunty

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Audiobook rating: 5 of 5 stars

 

I was about 25% into a reread of this yesterday when I ran into a copy of the audiobook via the author’s Twitter feed (@andersenprunty). I was doing a few things, so I switched it on right away.
Normally, (well, back when real life WAS normal), audio books are just a convenience for me, not a preference. I’ve trained my brain to become friends with my Kindle robo-voice to the point where I can listen to her during work commutes just like any narrator.
BUT…
The narrator of this Audible edition of Fuckness is so fuckin’ awesome that this ‘reread’ turned into an entirely new experience.

Jeff Bower is the narrator of Fuckness, and although I’m about to stalk his ass to see what else he’s done – he could just be The Voice of Andersen Prunty in my head forevermore. (Just DL’d an audio book which A.P. narrates himself, I’ll comment more after listening.)
Jeff Bower though…how can I explain… he has this evil little giggle that he does, kind of to himself, and it adds something undefinable to his character. Love it. It reminds me of that evil, psychotic side of myself when I’m heartily laughing at something that I shouldn’t be – does that help explain it?

I just made a quote from this book into a #BleedingMeme, check it out the new #BleedingMemes Page HERE.

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Looking for the audiobook code? There are some codes left for many of his books, US and UK, HERE.

So, I’m trying to link you up to Jeff Bower directly, but I’m getting lost in infinite link loops. Oh, the horror!! But, I  am seeing that he narrates non-fiction Wicca books, so… another bonus point for Jeff!  (UPDATE: Twitter @JeffBowerLA –  Loving husband. Aspiring Muppet.)

Peace, Love, and necrophilia ♡

~ Shadow Girl

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comics Dark Humor Horror Humor

Self Isolation

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Horror Humor Shenanigans

Happy… 🐇

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BBB Exclusive celebration Horror Humor Shenanigans

Five Years of Horror and Humor!

 

🎆 👻 Happy Anniversary with WordPress! 👻 🎆

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Shadow Girl started with WordPress 5 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging

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Dark Humor Holiday Horror Horror Humor

#HumorousHolidayHorrors


☃️ Who needs cookies & milk when you have flies & blood☃️

 

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celebration Horror Humor

Today’s Google Doodle celebrates the 308th birthday of lexicographer Samuel Johnson

Samuel Johnson created the first great English dictionary.

Johnson was a poet, essayist, critic, biographer, an editor, and most importantly (today anyway) – a lexicographer.
His 1755 dictionary was the first truly comprehensive dictionary of the language, and remained the gold standard until The Oxford English Dictionary of 1884 — but one of the best reasons to remember him is – dude was hilarious!

Some of Johnson’s entries are still a complete crack-up. In fact, he was so funny that his buddy Boswell spent 22 years basically just following him around, filling 18 volumes with his various ‘Samuelisms’, creating The Life of Samuel Johnson.
Samuel Johnson was so funny that the only person in the English language who’s quoted more often is Shakespeare.

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To celebrate our fellow lover of lexicology, let’s giggle with some of Johnson’s most notable & quotable dictionary entries –

Lexicographer: A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words.

Cough: A convulsion of the lungs, vellicated by some sharp serosity.

Distiller: One who makes and sells pernicious and inflammatory spirits.

Dull: Not exhilaterating (sic); not delightful; as, to make dictionaries isdull work.

Excise: A hateful tax levied upon commodities, and adjudged not by the common judges of property, but wretches hired by those to whom excise is paid.

Far-fetch: A deep stratagem. A ludicrous word.

Jobbernowl: Loggerhead; blockhead.

Kickshaw: A dish so changed by the cookery that it can scarcely be known.

Network: Any thing reticulated or decussated, at equal distances, with interstices between the intersections. (See how he defined ‘reticulated,’ below.)

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland appears to support the people.

Pastern: The knee of a horse. (This is wrong. When Johnson was once asked how he came to make such a mistake, Boswell tells us he replied,“Ignorance, Madam, pure ignorance.”)

Patron: One who countenances, supports or protects. Commonly a wretch who supports with insolence, and is paid with flattery.

Pension: An allowance made to any one without an equivalent. In England it is generally understood to mean pay given to a state hireling for treason to his country.

Politician: 1. One versed in the arts of government; one skilled in politicks. 2. A man of artifice; one of deep contrivance.

Reticulated: Made of network; formed with interstitial vacuities.

Tory: One who adheres to the ancient constitution of the state, and the apostolical hierarchy of the church of England, opposed to a Whig.

Whig: The name of a faction.

To worm: To deprive a dog of something, nobody knows what, under his tongue, which is said to prevent him, nobody knows why, from running mad.

“It is commonly observed, that when two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather; they are in haste to tell each other, what each must already know, that it is hot or cold, bright or cloudy, windy or calm.”The Idler

“I have, all my life long, been lying till noon; yet I tell all young men, and tell them with great sincerity, that nobody who does not rise early will ever do any good.”The Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides

“At the tea table he had considerable demands upon his favorite beverage, and I remember when Sir Joshua Reynolds at my house reminded him that he had drank eleven cups, he replied — ‘Sir, I did not count your glasses of wine, why should you number up my cups of tea?’” —The Life of Samuel Johnson, Vol. 2

“It can scarcely be candid not to make a previous declaration, that he is to expect little justice from the author of this extract, a hardened and shameless tea-drinker.”A Journal of Eight Days’ Journey


How well do you think you know Samuel Johnson’s dictionary?

Take this hilarious quiz to find out!

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Grammatical Sabbatical Humor Shenanigans

#Grammared

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halloween Horror Humor Shenanigans

It’s October!!

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