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Dark Humor Holiday Horror Shenanigans

They’ll Think It’s Only The Tryptophan…

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#coronageddon #SelfIsolationShenanigans Anthologies book discussions Holiday Horror Horror Short Story splatterpunk

Celebrating National Metal Day!

Heavy Metal & Horror – A Match Made For Screaming!

Celebrating National Metal Day by watching horror movies is easy. It’s FUN, but the hardest part will be deciding what movie to watch FIRST. If you’re in a state where you’re still strongly encouraged to stay self-isolated, picking up a book and getting lost in a blend of music & madness sounds much more appealing! But – what to read? Here are a few choices…


We’ll be celebrating doubly hard since The Dark Defender & I Joined Forces nine years ago today.

Joined Forces 11/11/11

If you don’t already have THE SCREAM by John Skipp & Craig Spector then this is the book you should pick up and start reading today. It’s HORROR. It’s SPLATTERPUNK. It’s ROCK AND ROLL.

Rock ‘n’ Roll. Hell. Two great tastes that taste great together. Long before Elvis gyrated on the Sullivan Show or the Beatles toiled the smoky red-light bars of Hamburg, music has been sowing the seeds of liberation. Or damnation. With each new generation the edge of rebellion pushed farther. Rhythms quickened. Volume increased. Lyrics coarsened. The rules continued to be broken, until it seemed that there were no rules at all.
And as waves of teens cranked it up and poured it on, parents built walls of accusation to explain their offspring’s seeming corruption. Sex and drugs, demon worship and violence are the effects. Music is the cause. Or so the self-styled guardians of morality would have us believe.
Meet The Scream. Just your average everyday mega-cult band. Their music is otherworldly. Their words are disturbing. Their message is unholy. Their fans are legion. And they’re not kidding. They’re killing. Themselves. Each other. Everyone. Their gospel screams from the lips of babes. Their backbeat has a body count. And their encore is just the warm-up act to madness beyond belief.
It emerged from a war-torn jungle, where insanity was just another word for survival. It arrived in America with an insatiable lust for power and the means to fulfill it. In the amplified roar of arena applause there beats the heart of absolute darkness
.


As your punk rock horror hostess in this event, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to show you this ‘battle’ anthology!

• Thirteen Rounds. • Twenty Six Stories. • No Holds Barred.

Grab your guitars, turn the volume to eleven, and launch yourself into a world where heavy music rules over all!

Your teammates we will include 13 of these authors as you battle head to head for the Ultimate Title! David Owain Huges, Michelle Garza and Melissa Lawson – The Sisters of Slaughter, James H. Longmire, Dani Brown, Robert Holy, Andrew Freudenberg, Easel Pratt, Kitty Kane, Sebastian Crow, J.L. Lane, G.H. Finn, Jason Morton, Brian Barr, Michael Noe, Jim Richardson, Seth Moore, R.E. Lyons, Toneye Tyenot, William Bradley, John P. Collins Jr., Lucretia Stanhope, Brian Glossup, K. Trap Jones, Michael Fischer, and Jim Golforth.


I love the vibe happening right now, so the 3rd place tie between THE RITUAL by Adam Neville and SHOCK ROCK edited by Jeff Gelb has just been broken! ROCK AND ROLL IS HERE TO SLAY …

The stars of shock fiction know what metalheads & moralists, punksters & preachers have known all along. Rock and roll. With its hot licks and raw glitter, has a dark side too – where the party stops and the terror begins.

Put on your headphones. Open this electrifying book. Rock to the world of horror where martyred musical super-legends return from the dead at 120 decibels… where radio stations sponsor ghastly giveaways that no living soul could want … where other-earthly pirates bootleg not records, but human souls… where people are strange … and the devil rocks all night.

THE NEW SOUND OF HORROR comes from Stephen King, F. Paul Wilson, David J. Schow, Nancy A. Collins, Ronald Kelly, Don D’Ammassa, Graham Masterton, Paul Dale Anderson, Michael E. Garrett, Brian J. Hodge, R Patrick Gates, Rex Miller, Bill Mumy & Peter David,R Richard Christian Matheson, Michael Newton, Mark Verheiden, Ray Garton, John L. Byrne, Thomas Tessier, and John Shirley.

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31 Days Of Halloween Holiday Horror Quotes

Hitching A Ride

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celebration Holiday Horror

If you can’t be safe…be creative!

Remember… If there are no pics… It didn’t happen.

Peace, Love & Necrophilia ❤ ~sg
Categories
book discussions Holiday Horror Horror

Mother’s Day Reads

I don’t know how things are where you live, but Michigan’s governor has added visits to family members to our ‘stay at home’ order – unless it’s a medical emergency. That sounds like a great reason to stay home and read!

Some #HolidayHorror suggestions


Mother’s Boys 

What do you) get when a group of psychopathic killers take on a family of mutated freaks? A whole lot of bloody good fun and Daniel I. Russell delivers it in spades!

Mother

This story will take you on a tearful journey as you explore a volatile mother-daughter relationship. Sometimes sometimes love doesn’t conquer all…
(Free today on Amazon)

I Try My Best

This is a short story about one woman reliving her past failures and dealing with the guilt she faces daily.

Categories
Anthologies Extreme Horror Holiday Horror Horror

Need An Earth Day Read?

Celebrate #EarthDay 🌎 with a creepy twist! Check out Leslie Connor’s short story ‘I ♥ RECYCLING‘ in A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE.

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The last place Matt wants to be is in the woods, with his family, just because his step-dad wants to plant a tree for Earth Day. But this Earth Day awakens something evil in these woods, and Matt doesn’t know if he, or his family, will make it out alive.

Categories
Dark Humor Holiday Horror Horror Humor

#HumorousHolidayHorrors


☃️ Who needs cookies & milk when you have flies & blood☃️

 

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Anthologies book discussions Book Reviews Dark Humor Extreme Horror Holiday Horror Horror Shenanigans

A BLAST FROM THE PAST! Revisiting A VERY STRANGEHOUSE CHRISTMAS

* originally published for the 2013 Holiday Horror Binge & Purge event on DECEMBER 29, 2013

I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙ – (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating!
I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than a Cannibal in Fat Camp! ::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!

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A Very StrangeHouse Christmas

“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”

“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”

For last year’s ‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’ event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, was A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!) Hacked Up HOLIDAY This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmas is one of the two.

INTRODUCTION:  Kevin Strange

Kafka’s Run by Billy Tea:
The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.
KafkasRun

Do Not Buy by MP Johnson:
A ‘Tickle This’ kind of story! Quick, gross, and wonderful!
ElmoAboutToGETTickled

The Unlisted by Jesse Wheeler:
YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!

Image from the security camera in the Women's Plus Size dressing rooms
Image from the security camera in the Women’s Plus Size dressing rooms

Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!

Dear Santa Claus by K.M. Tepe:
A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…

Think twice before leaving me coal again, ya Prick!!
Think twice before leaving me coal again, ya Prick!!

*Message for K.M. Tepe:
Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today.
After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!

Blood On The Highway by Lindsey Goddard:
The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species.
A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!

This is an image that I found on a Google Image Search - It does not reflect the authors imagery in any way
*This is an image that I found on a Google Image Search – It does not reflect the authors imagery in any way

Kathi the Sexy Elf by Rich Bottles Jr.:
A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa…
images-4-1
I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.

Christmas with the Family by Jonathan Byrd:
This one should be called “A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”.
Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include –
BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂

The Witch who Fucked Christmas by Kevin Strange:
This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine.
Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you?
Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailer
Hack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube

I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday by Mike Lombardo:
Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo 

After Notes, Links, & Other Randomly Strange[House] Fun

I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished.
I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published.
This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page
**If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***

Check out the StrangeHouseBooks blog on WordPress
‘LIKE’ StrangeHouseBooks on Facebook

A VERY STRANGEHOUSE CHRISTMAS on Goodreads
Kevin Strange on Goodreads
K.M. Tepe on Goodreads
Rich Bottles Jr. on Goodreads
Mike Lombardo on Goodreads
Lindsey Goddard on Goodreads
Jesse Wheeler on Goodreads
Billy Tea on Goodreads
M.P. Johnson on Goodreads
Jonathan Byrd on Goodreads

DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW KEVIN STRANGE?
Take this quiz and find out!! Post your results in the comments, I’d love to see them – I’ll Make sure that I get a link to Kevin, so he can see your results, too!

MORE SHB ANTHOLOGIES – GET SOME STRANGE!
The Last Gig On Planet Earth And Other Strange Stories
Strange Sex
Strange Versus Lovecraft
Tales of Questionable Taste
Zombie! Zombie! Brain Bang!
Scary Fucking Stories: A Strange Collection

VOYEURISM, in 140 characters or less –
@_StrangeHouse
@kevinthestrange
@freaktension
@BillyTea_AMDAD
@tusitalabruni
@SFerrariFOS

Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr.
LUMBERJACKED
“[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley”
Hellhole West Virginia
“Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.”
The Manacled
“What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.”
*I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)

Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’s Dinner at the Vomitropolis – I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.

The Big Book of Bizarro
The Big Book of Bizarro Erotica Collection
The Big Book of Bizarro Horror Collection
The Big Book of Bizarro Sci-Fi & Fantasy Collection

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Visit the official website of Mike Lombardo’s Reel Splatter Productions! They’re a small independent horror-comedy troupe based out of Lancaster, Pennsylvania whose goal is to prove artistic expression can involve necrophilia & chainsaws! Visit RSP now, and see some horrible monstrosities commit unspeakable acts! YAY!!

http://www.ReelSplatter.com | Facebook.com/ReelSplatter

Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY – Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released THE STALL on DVD and it is ready to ship!
It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.

A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre: Halloween is Going to be Jealous on Amazon

A Very StrangeHouse Christmas on Amazon

Categories
book discussions Book Reviews Holiday Horror Short Story

THE SEASON OF GIVING by Angel Gelique

THE SEASON OF GIVING

More Horrific Holiday Fun from Angel Gelique

seasongiving
Lou Reilly grew up in a strict, oppressive environment, raised by zealous religious parents who merely wanted to protect him from the sinners of the world. Sheltered to the point of isolation, Lou is unprepared to fend for himself when his parents pass away.

Bullied and tormented at his new place of employment, Lou starts suspecting that his parents were right to shield him from such harsh and hateful people. Just as Lou begins to befriend a colleague who vows to help improve his life, he is put to the ultimate test of faith. All seems hopeless.

But he won’t let the sinners win. He won’t burn in hell as his parents have warned.

Lou will make things right….

Warning: For Mature Readers (18+) Only

The Season of Giving wasn’t all horrific holiday fun – it kind of bummed me out a little bit.

I think Carrie-WhiteLou’s mom used to get together and go to lunch with Carrie White‘s mom, where they would swap Parenting Tips for the Mentally Christian” over their watered down tea and bad fish entrees.

All alone, Lou Reilly grew up the best that he could.  He finally made a real friend,  but when a little miscommunication / misunderstanding arose between them – he obsessed over it until he convinced himself that his “friend” was actually an enemy out to destroy him, and send him to Hell in a hand-basket.

I definitely had some emotional moments while reading this – mostly anger that came with me screaming at the characters and waking my husband up. There were some ‘Oh, poor Lou’ moments, too.  One final ‘hugely cringe-worthy’ scene leads up to our (mostly) “YAY!” ending – unless you overthink it and let your mind wander past the final page of the story. If you do that, you may end up like me when Lou finally ‘make things right’ – I haven’t decided if I want to cheer for Lou, the carnage, and the sweet, wonderful revenge or if I want to just put my head down and sob.

If you’re not in the mood for something quite so… deep right now, you can start by reading Christmas Shopping first – a genuine Horrific Holiday FUN book   🙂

 

The Season of Giving on Amazon / Goodreads

Angel Gelique on Amazon / Goodreads

Categories
book discussions Book Reviews Holiday Horror Horror Video Wicca

IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER by M. R. Sellars

THE SMALL TOWN OF HULIS, MISSOURI
HAS A KILLER CHRISTMAS SPIRIT…

perf6.000x9.000.indd

… AND IT’S HIDING A KILLER SECRET.

In 1975 the small town of Hulis was ground zero in a frantic search for 10 year-old Merrie Frances Callahan, as well as an intense manhunt for her abductor.

35 years later, it seems the FBI would like to pretend it never happened.

Special Agent Constance Mandalay didn’t get that memo…

IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER is based on the short teaser novella MERRIE AXEMAS: A Killer Holiday Tale, (see below) but it tells the whole story of ten-year-old Merrie Frances Callahan’s 1975 abduction, and the present day murders that are somehow intricately linked to that event.


5/5 Holiday Stars

I’ve been a Rowan Gant fan since I picked up my first copy of HARM NONE (I got it autographed, too – teehee), and I am so happy that SA Constance Mandalay got her own story! (soon-to-be-series 🙂 I can’t wait for Book 2: INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE!!).   ITBM is going to impact the rest of the RGI Series for me. Constance was already growing on me, but I like her character much more now.  Getting to go along with her on this investigation, and see how she handles the (I’m quoting Ben here…) “Twilight Zone” stuff without Rowan being there is eye-opening.  I definitely see her a little differently, and have more respect for her. She has earned her place in The Ghoul Squad, haha!  I would LOVE to see both Constance and Ben shake off their traditional beliefs and… well… a girl can dream.   ♥ Blessed Be!

SA Constance Mandalay is assigned what appears to be a 7-year-old cold case that echos the events of the 35-year-old child abduction. Unfortunately for all involved, the case heats up for a short time each year with a brutal murder that appears eerily staged, and occurs under impossible circumstances.

Undaunted, she faces the task with no backup, a mysteriously redacted case file, and the inevitable murder fast approaching.

Mandalay’s experience as the ‘handler’ for an FBI occult/paranormal expert (Rowan Gant) makes her the perfect choice for this investigation. However, even her brushes with the unexplained still cannot prepare her for the answer she was not supposed to discover…

You can find In The Bleak Midwinter: A Special Agent Constance Mandalay Novel @

Amazon, Goodreads, and Smashwords

You can find Merrie Axemas: A Killer Holiday Tale (#FREE) @

Amazon, Goodreads, and Smashwords

Where to find M. R. Sellars online:

M. R. Land, Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Google+Smashwords, YouTube, StoryFind, and if he ever decides to get back to pinning – Pintrest. I’m still trying to recruit all you horror lovers to switch to SlashBoard instead – it’s Pintrest for Horror Lovers! Maybe we can follow him there soon  series 😉

~

Merrie Axemas – Book 0.5 of the Constance Mandalay Series

merryaxemas

LITTLE MERRIE CALLAHAN MAY BE ALL GROWN UP, BUT SHE STILL HAS AN AXE TO GRIND WITH THE MAN IN THE RED SUIT…

~

INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE: Book 2 of the Constance Mandalay series

THE END IS NEAR, IT JUST NEEDS A LITTLE PUSH…

COMING SOON…

~

Check out the entire Rowan Gant Investigation [RGI] series – I highly recommend the books I’ve read so far, and I’ll bet I say the same as I finish the rest of them.   

~

My autographed copy of HARM NONE can’t be replaced, so I was especially giddy when I saw that M. R. Sellars uses AuthorGraph! Now my ebooks are virtually signed  🙂   Stop by and get your new M. R. Sellars ebooks personalized, too!

~

Be sure to check out all of the M. R. Sellars and other WillowTree Press Author logo-ed swag available @ On The Edge Graphics: Purveyors Of Official Author Swag & Other Graphical Oddities  http://www.cafepress.com/otegraphics

 

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