This book isn’t for everyone, if you’re easily offended or closed-minded skip this, but if you like your horror stories to leave you steam rising off your skin you should grab your copy today!
This book is ONLY for the TWISTED!
MASHED is what happens when your favorite cooking show falls into The Twilight Zone! Add a pinch of sex, a dash of humor and a whole lotta horror and you’ve got a recipe for the most TWISTED Anthology out there!
The 17 Sensually Sinister Stories include –
A Woman’s Corn – Two clandestine lovers with more secrets than either of them knew, brings about a special witches brew while the devil stews. By J. Donnait
Charlies Chunky Munching Meat – A tale of obsession over a certain pink meat, gone too far. By Stephen McQuiggan
Halloween Nosh – Two old-world vampires celebrating their love during the holidays with a special feast in the dungeon. By Brandon Ketchum
Biscuit : A Love Story – A baker’s dreams destroyed by a homeless man with unnatural hungers, leads to super-natural revenge. By Grivante
Burnt Scrambled Eggs – What happens when your succubus lover stays over for breakfast? By Devon Widmer
The Disagreeable Dinner – Ever eaten a bad meal? Not like this one. Join us for this strange and hilarious case of food poisoning By Mark Daponte
Sugar – Honey is sweet, but when a potential sugar daddy turns out to be one of her high school teachers, a night of planned BDSM fun ends in a most unsavory of ways. By Darla Dimmelle
The Henry Problem – Fruit as an aphrodisiac, exorcisms for dummies? All that and more! By John Grey
Nibble, Nibble, My Wolf – It’s all the rage to reimagine fairy tales these days and this story gets it right in the most beautifully twisted and erotic way. ByJ.L. Boekestein
The Wrath of the Buttery Bastard Taters – GMO’s are out of hand. A couples romantic dinner turns into a nightmare when their frankenfood decides to eat them instead. By Alex Colvin
Sauce – When cooking lessons lead to a new fetish, narcissistic Bart, takes self-satisfaction to a new level. By Steven Carr
The Care and Feeding of your Personal Demon – Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, asking for a little help from down below can come with a lifetime of demented and hilarious torment. By Maxine Kollar
P.A.C.D. The Kitchen of Tomorrow, Today! – Advancements in technology are often quickly perverted for sexual experimentation. Find out what happens when a couple’s cooling romance heats back up with a new kitchen appliance. By R.A. Goli
Arabica – Do you like coffee? Maybe a little too much? Here’s a tale of a woman using BDSM aversion therapy to overcome her caffeine addiction. By CobaltJade
Toilet Manners – Marital impropriety leads to the strangest meal of a man’s life after a visit to a glory hole inside a fancy french restaurant. By Eddie Generous
The Stray – Is the story of a man’s lifelong dedication to helping strays. But, what happens when one gets a little upset when he announces he is moving away. By Calypso Kane
The Old Man in the Suit – Voodoo and baked goods outside a lesbian bar during Mardi Gras. By Nicholas Paschall
I need to check out more work from all the authors included in MASHED!
While I loved just about every story here, I think that my top 5 stand-outs are… 1.) “P.A.C.D. THE KITCHEN OF TOMORROW, TODAY!” By R.A. Goli 2.) “BISCUIT: A LOVE STORY” By Grivante 3.) “THE CARE & FEEDING OF YOUR PERSONAL DEMON” By Maxine Kollar 4.) “THE STRAY” By Calypso Kane And #5 is a tie between “SAUCE” By Steve Carr, and “THE DISAGREEABLE DINNER” By Mark Daponte
Allen has made some mistakes in his life, and they’re coming back to haunt him! Unfortunately…he keeps making them while trying to keep the old one buried!
This had me on the edge of my seat, and yelling – out loud – at Allen.
At first I didn’t understand why Adderall wasn’t the drug of choice for this story – it’s exactly what Andy needs.
Now I understand why the author chose the nootropics with the blood root.
Charlie found a sure fire way to cure his gambling addiction. I don’t believe Don will ever place another bet in his life now, either.
Zach works delivering food for an app similar to ‘Door Dash’. He picks up your order from one of the multiple participating restaurants, and brings it right to your door.
A minor fender bender on his way to a delivery starts a chain of events that put more that his job in jeopardy.
This is a great, and very original short story!
Side note: I wish there was a similar app for getting cigarettes, beer, and whatever else my lazy ass doesn’t want to leave the house for!
Cure: “Life is not worth living without a little bit of risk.”
Could it be considered Stockholm Syndrome if it’s a doctor holding your psyche hostage, instead of a kidnapper holding your body hostage?
Ooo… how about Munchausen By-Proxy By Psychotic Physician?! “Now…how does that make you feel?”
This is the first book I’ve read by J.T. Withelder, and I am looking forward to reading more.
His work is fresh, and fast-paced!
I love this one. I put the book down because I really started to think about the different people… Maybe I’m a bit more twisted than some, cuz I think I’d like to sit and people-watch at this point, too
I never thought about how this could be a viable source of income for certain individuals, or how fucked up it is when you think about it for more than a minute!
The mental torture that they must endure… wow …
I feel like I’ve read this one before, but not sure when or where.
*(Update: it was in the first volume of the D.O.A. Extreme Horror Anthology)
It made me feel claustrophobic.
It’s funny how most people, myself included, value the lives of animals over most humans.
Hmmm. I suppose that kids don’t really understand how wrong certain things are – but most kids don’t have these feelings, do they? I’m not sure.
Good story telling got me in the right head space, but I still don’t know if he’s just a very lonely & confused little boy, or something much darker.
Not sure what to make of this yet. I have to chew on it for a bit longer.
Angie, not exactly ‘boys will be boys’ material, is it?
Judy, think a little harder and/or longer when it comes to your mom, huh?
And, well, Courtney… If vibrators killed spiders, we wouldn’t need men at all now would we?
I wonder… If ‘Death’ wanted to find/have/keep love, could s/he?
It’s a heartbreaking thought, so an existential crisis might be a lighter topic to dwell on.
* I especially like the “self-inflicted stupidity” sentence 😉
Bypass my squeamishness you say… 😶
X SKIPPING Y:
Best beginning sentence ever.
Ishmael can suck it!
Well. That was disturbing.
THE BLUE SCHNOOKLYBOB:
I’m not going to try to play the scholar, and say that this story’s ‘symbolism is clearly a statement about the blah blah & bullshit in today’s society…’
And, honestly, I’m usually not into sci-fi, but I enjoyed this short.
I’m still giggling about how we, as humans, have better profanity, and our bitching is top notch!
BTW – I want a schnooklybob. A pink one, not a blue one.
TASTELESS: WARNING: “THERE IS NO SAFE-WORD”. RE-READ THE INTRODUCTION TO THIS BOOK. KNOW THE DEFINITION OF TRANSGRESSIVE HORROR. READ THE #RULES. THEN READ THE FORWARNING BEFORE THIS STORY.
A review? I just can’t.
I needed to nope out at the second page, but I forced myself to read every word, with tears streaming down my face. Why? Because I used to know a woman who’s story is quite similar. The woman was not involved, the man was the birth father, and the infant (don’t judge me) thankfully did not survive. Like the author states in the forewarning, the physical logistics were too much for me to even try to comprehend.
I read it for Nevaeh.
Celebrate #EarthDay 🌎 with a creepy twist! Check out Leslie Connor’s short story ‘I ♥ RECYCLING‘ in A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE.
The last place Matt wants to be is in the woods, with his family, just because his step-dad wants to plant a tree for Earth Day. But this Earth Day awakens something evil in these woods, and Matt doesn’t know if he, or his family, will make it out alive.
After six years and more than fifty authors, theUnholy Trinity is complete. This third installment in the DOA series offers thirty stories from the originators of splatterpunk as well as the newest voices in extreme horror.
You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll vomit
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Stories from Bentley Little -Jack Ketchum & Edward Lee – Shane Mckenzie – Wrath James White – Richard Christian Matheson – Kristopher Triana – T.M. McLean – Sean Eads & Joshua Viola – T. Fox Dunham – John Skipp – Luciano Marano – Ryan Harding – Kristopher Rufty – Daniel I. Russell – LLoyd Kaufman & Lily Hayes Kaufman – David Sandner – Betty Rocksteady – C.M. Saunders – K. Trap Jones – Hal Bodner – Adrian Ludens – C. Cameron Rossi – Alistair Rennie – Airika Sneve – Christoph Weber – Garrett Cook – Eric J. Guignard – Jeff Strand – Jaap Boekestein – John McNee
NOTCHES by Sean Eads and Joshua Viola
How do you keep track of things? A notch on your bedpost? A notch on your arm?
How do you keep track of things you have lost?
BROKEN HEARTED by T. Fox Dunham
💔 💻 The Perfect Couple. It’s not just a saying, or a wish, thanks to No More Broken Hearts, Inc. 100% perfectly compatible couples world wide – no fighting, no bullshit. What could possibly go wrong?
N WORD by Shane McKenzie
⚰️ 🛀 🤢 Calvin was a regular, horny kid. But he should have thought about that fantasy for a little while longer. No patience these days.
SKIPP’S SPLATTERPUNK ALPHABET SOUFFLE by John Skipp
I don’t normally pick anthology favorites, I try to just hit on each story.
But…SKIPP’S SPLATTERPUNK ALPHABET SOUFFLE is one that should be on everyone’s ‘Must Read’ list.
TAKEAWAY NIGHT by T.M. McLean
💩 I can barely read about emetophilia and/or coprophilia without gagging, and this was tough for a minute. But, I got a chuckle, too. 🤢
BURNT by Luciano Marano
🔥 Vicki is driven by the burn. By the beauty of it. And she just wants her world to be a beautiful place to live. “Burn wards are Satan’s art gallery“.
JUNK by Ryan Harding
🤢 🔪 ☢️ A Viral Virus ss – jam packed with cringe inducing imagery, hilariously grotesque metaphors, and hyperbole for days 😝
My Ryan Harding books look like rainbows; full of highlighted words & phrases that I never want to forget, but sadly cannot seem to slip into every day conversations.
THE PACKAGE by Kristopher Rufty
📦 We all want to do the right thing, love the neighbor and all that. But when your inner freak-tard detector starts binking red, listen to your inner voice. Call me a cunt, but I’ll still be alive!
RED byRichard Christian Matheson
I need to thank this brilliant mind that gave me “Three O’clock High”, (as well as many stories that I’ve loved, but didn’t realize who the author was 😕)
THE MACHINE by Bentley Little
If you think hard enough, you can use anything to jerk off with. But finding out that your dirty little thingamajig was made to be exactly that… it kinda takes some of the romance out of it.
BURY THEM DEEPER by David Sandner
👹 Learning that monsters are human can break your psyche as a kid.
THESE BEAUTIFUL BONES by Betty Rocksteady
💔 🔨 When your girl is coming at you with a hammer in her hand… Do not call her by the wrong name. JS
SUBJECT #270374 by C.M. SAUNDERS
🏥 🚬 🗞️ Deep thoughts & dry humor 💉 🔪
I need to pay more attention to this author.
BEER BATTERED by K. Trap Jones
Deliverence meets Bigfoot – with buddies & beer! 🍺
L’AMUSE BOUCHE by Hal Bodner
Joel considers himself a 9.5/10 on the hotness scale, Why settle for just one guy when there are so many to amuse the mouth? Besides, his dates don’t always walk away as pretty as they were going in…
PROUD PAPA byAdrian Ludens
🍼 As a parent, I can attest to watching my spawn grow up over night. There’s never enough time. The proud papa in this ss doesn’t miss a second.
CRY THE BANSHEE byC. Cameron Rossi
Add another #MichiganMadman to our list! This madman lives in the urban wilds of Detroit, Michigan – maybe we’ve already crossed paths.
TERRORSLUTS FOR ETERNITY VERSUS THE UNGODHEADS OF THE INTERDIMENSIONALS by Alistair Rennie
👾 This is a little more sci-fi than I’d normally read, but I got into the story. If you know me, that says a lot.
WE BELIEVE IN 5B by Airika Sneve
🥒 🍆 🍌 🌋 An in-house seminar in ‘Unconventional Leadership’. Why do guys go batshit overboard when they are with other ‘bros’?
TAKING ROOT by Christoph Weber
🌿🌱 It may be the end of times, but thank Christ there weren’t any zombies! The couple in this is know how to survive – by any means necessary.
WOEFUL CITY by Garrett Cook
“Leave your hope behind if you’d enter here”.
RITCHIE by Eric J. Guignard
A duel that lasts more than a lifetime will surely bring some crazy with it at some point in time. But, who’s to say WHAT is crazy?
I’D GIVE ANYTHING FOR YOU by Jack Ketchum and Edward Lee. How To Lose A Guy In Three Weeks. Sorta.
💍 💔 ‘IGAFY‘ has been published prior to this anthology, but I enjoyed reading again.⛓️ 🔒
HOSTILE by Jeff Strand
💸 🔪 I always look forward to Jeff’s sense of humor – in all it’s flavors.
“…that’s a mentally ill thing to do. That’s for somebody who drools and wears necklaces made out of body parts. I don’t wear necklaces made out of body parts, I will never wear necklaces made out of body parts, and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me feel guilty about not wearing necklaces made out of body parts.”
METAL HEAT by Jaap Boekestein
A fetish can consume your time, but when it becomes YOU… that’s trouble.
REPULSIVE GLAMOUR by John McNee
A drug. A transformation, if you’re one of the lucky ones. A very painful death if your not.
Pssst… Hey, John… ‘Degredatia’ is the best character name ever!
THE BITCH by Kristopher Triana
🔗 This is a tale of terror and revenge, (with some new and interesting forms of brutality!). It also had a couple of twisty turns that took me by surprise! I’ll definately be looking into more work from this author, The Detained is on my Must Read list now (I remember getting BODY ART, and I need to get it in que!) I had to giggle a bit when I read the author bio and learned what Kristopher Triana does for a living, when he’s not writing that is. I have two more books on my Must Read list now, too! 🗜️
* A PERSONAL NOTE TO KRISTOPHER TRIANA:
I’d be very excited to see the New & Improved Emma taken further. Her recently acquired ‘treasure’ is a story begging to be told as well!
This was so much fun to read! And – you could feel that everyone was having fun while putting this book together, that shines through. As for the winners… I tended to agree with the other judges, for the most part – I’m not going to say which stories, or authors that I voted for – you should read this collection, and make up your own mind!
* originally published for the 2013 Holiday Horror Binge & Purge event on DECEMBER 29, 2013
I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙– (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating! I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than aCannibal in Fat Camp!::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!
“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”
“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”
For last year’s‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, wasA HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!)This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmasis one of the two.
Kafka’s Run byBilly Tea: The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.
Do Not Buyby MP Johnson: A ‘Tickle This’ kind of story! Quick, gross, and wonderful!
The Unlistedby Jesse Wheeler: YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!
Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!
Dear Santa Clausby K.M. Tepe: A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…
*Message for K.M. Tepe: Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today. After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!
Blood On The Highwayby Lindsey Goddard: The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species. A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!
Kathi the Sexy Elfby Rich Bottles Jr.: A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa… I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.
Christmas with the Familyby Jonathan Byrd: This one should be called“A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”. Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include – BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂
The Witch who Fucked Christmasby Kevin Strange: This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine. Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you? Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailer Hack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube
I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsdayby Mike Lombardo: Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo ♥
After Notes, Links, & Other Randomly Strange[House] Fun
I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished. I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published. This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page **If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***
VOYEURISM, in 140 characters or less – @_StrangeHouse @kevinthestrange @freaktension @BillyTea_AMDAD @tusitalabruni @SFerrariFOS
Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr. ‘LUMBERJACKED‘ “[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley” ‘Hellhole West Virginia‘ “Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.” ‘The Manacled‘ “What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.” *I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)
Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’sDinner at the Vomitropolis –I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.
Visit the official website of Mike Lombardo’sReel Splatter Productions! They’re a small independent horror-comedy troupe based out of Lancaster, Pennsylvania whose goal is to prove artistic expression can involve necrophilia & chainsaws! Visit RSP now, and see some horrible monstrosities commit unspeakable acts! YAY!!
Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled‘I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY‘– Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released‘THE STALL‘on DVD and it is ready to ship! It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.
“Follow only if you be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair, so brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further!” “For death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.”
‘Experience demented rabbits, chocolate obsessed children drowning in their own greed, serial killers, resurrection and more in this collection guaranteed to kill the cravings of your sweet tooth.’
Desert by Matt Shaw “If you’re good – you get chocolate! If you’re bad… He hops right on by…”
Matt Shaw kicks off this collection with a dark tale about a boy who is on Easter break from school, but wishing he was anywhere but home at the moment.
There is a strange noise coming from the hallway – had someone broken in to abduct him, or to hurt his family? Terrified, he grabs a cricket bat and ventures out to see what is lurking in the shadows…
On a more personal note…
DESERT is a heartbreaking short story – ‘Justin’ is such a brave, wise, and generous little boy who is continuously hurt by the man who is supposed to love him unconditionally. Reading this (and please forgive me for saying this…), makes me want to hunt down the “Senior Sperm Donor” and punch him in the face. So… Happy Fucking Easter – let’s move on.
Bastard Bunny by David Owain Hughes Don’t make fun of the guy in the bunny suit – you never know when he could just SNAP and lose his shit! Take a lesson from the people who survive office massacres – throw the weirdos a Snickers every once in a while, and keep your comments to yourself.
Duncan Ralston provides us with an entirely different definition of ‘resurrection’ in His Is Risen!
Want to know more about this SS? There is only one way to find out what is behind the door…
*Bonus points for teaching me ‘DRWS MARWOLAETH’.
The Chickens and the 3 Gods by Kit Power
The chickens loved C’ra and R’ak. They tried their best to please, and defer to their Hen & Cock Humans – until the day they brought the mini-human, B’rok to the garden. B’rok brought terror and destruction, yet C’ra and R’ak did nothing to save them. The chickens had been forsaken by their Gods, and now a change in power is in order.
Wicker Baskets by Kindra Sowder
Little Jesse loves any holiday that brings with it the promise of candy. He goes to bed excited to find out what the Easter Bunny will bring him in the morning. What he finds when he wakes up will make this an Easter that he will never forget.
My Last Easter by Jack Rollins First off, kudos to the author for the name of his main character! Way to show some love, Jack! Second – the little sister, Charlotte, grated my nerves… what a whine-y, tattle tale little bitch! I’d look forward to my last Easter if I had to be around that every day.
Lepus by Stuart Keane
SK puts a modern horror spin onto the mythology, astrology, and lexology of Lepus – and it’s genius.
FunFact: I made a Kindle Note @ Location 1358 that reads: “Cue background music HERE” (I always have background music. The CD will be available for purchase at my funeral).
Little Bunny by Glenn Rolfe
The fluffy brown bunny draws Marlow Shuman deep into Brenner’s Woods where the line between her nightmares and reality is blurred. She comes face to face with the past, and things aren’t what they seemed – but which version of “the truth” is correct, and who can be trusted?
Run Rabbit Run by Michael Bray
Gerald Rose is going to make a statement this year and show people the error of their ways. Easter isn’t about gorging Cadburry eggs & marshmallow Peeps – no sir. Reverend Rose is going to show people the true meaning of Easter.
When A Bunny Snaps by Jim Goforth
Josiah is celebrating Easter at one of his favorite bars – Fantasy Dress. He’s on the wrong side of sober when he sees Bunny sneak out for a smoke break, and he decides to follow her to have a little ‘chat’. Beaten, bloody, and bruised in the alley behind the bar – she can take no more. Something in her snaps, and nothing is going to stop her from getting the payback that she deserves.
Help Me by Neil Buchanan
Jo wakes up from a wicked bender with very hazy snapshots of the night before starting to come into focus. There’s also a little voice calling out for help inside his head – which he is not in the mood for right now.
However, Ishtar is in no mood to be ignored.
Educating Horace by Matt Hickman
Being 14 isn’t a picnic for any kid, but for Horace Davidson it is a nightmare. He has been coddled by his mother his entire life, becoming an overweight, under-educated misfit bullied relentlessly by his peers. He escapes the torment by losing himself in daydreams & fantasies, but not today. Today is Easter, and his mom has more than chocolate to put in his wicker basket this year.
Deb Loves Robbie by Mark West
This short made me feel like I was riding through a Romeo and Juliet themed Tunnel of Love, if it were created by David Lynch, and George Romero!
♥ ‘Robbie & Deb ~ Nor Death Do Us Part’ ♥
The Tradition is explained to us by Kyle M. Scott. Local legend says that the true spirit of Easter, embodied by a creature that predates Christianity, demands sacrifice in order to keep the children of Abbington Wood safe year after year.
The first born child of any household, under the age of 18, has to paint themselves onto an egg and offer it up to the creature. If the representation of the soul isn’t offered up willingly, the creature will come to collect the real thing. You don’t want to do things the hard way.
Hey-Zeus by Duncan P. Bradshaw
Easter Eve is one of the biggest bar nights of the year, I’ve missed more than one Easter Sunday breakfast with the fam because I was too hungover to even think about smelling ham & deviled eggs 😡 Ed, Guy, and Harry party like goddamn rock stars on Maundy Thursday. I thought I’ve partied, but I’ve NEVER reenacted The Easter Story with my friends! 3:)
Feldman’s Rabbit by Rich Hawkins
The man that entered the old house was shivering, starving, and half-frozen, but determined to survive. He can sustain with the Easter basket he found – “Feldman’s going to be just fine.” But, is he? Is the house driving him mad, the chocolate Easter eggs he consumed, or was he half-mad to begin with? It doesn’t matter, because Feldman is happier than he could ever remember being.
On The Third Day by Graeme Reynolds
What have I been telling you all these years?
“If it shambles like a zombie, and groans like a zombie…”
…you know how to finish that sentence.
Easter Eggs by Chantal Noordeloos
If a newly pregnant Rosemary Woodhouse traveled to Summerisle with her husband for a pagan holiday ritual with the fam – it might turn out something like EASTER EGGS. Chantal has captured elements of two iconic horror films and weaved them into a darkly original story that will stay with you long after you’ve finished.
Easter Hunt by author JR Park
Old Pat was hiding this year’s batch of chocolate eggs for the Church’s annual Easter Egg Hunt when he disappeared into the odd, cream colored mist. Once Sunday services were over, and the strange mist dissipated, the town’s children run towards the field to begin their search. They find a lot more than eggs to put in their baskets this year!
The Jesus Loophole by Luke Smitherd
Forget about bunnies & eggs; Easter is about Christ’s torture porn style death as atonement for all the sins of man, allowing us to ask for – and receive – forgiveness. But… what if you feel no remorse for you sins? Is it possible to “cheat the system”? If you want to find a loophole in God’s law there are two men you can ask… Kevin Smith, and Luke Smitherd.
‘It does not necessarily take a fist to create a punch in the gut.’
‘This fourteen-story YA fiction anthology delves into the experience of being bullied—socially, emotionally, physically, psychologically, and sexually. The school hallways, walks home, and house walls are no longer the boundaries for intimidation and harassment. With the rapid-fire response time of social media and smartphones, bullying has lost all limits, and the lines among truth, lies, and real accountability have become blurred.’
I originally had this shelved on Goodreads as ‘ya-general’, but I had to add it to my ‘ya-horror’ shelf as well. ‘Cornered’ is pretty far out of my genre comfort zone, but it horrified me on a different level.
Have you ever felt the urge to fuck the photocopier at work? Or maybe you’re obsessed with panda sex. Perhaps you have a bomb in your cunt, or better yet, you have the Demon Vibrator of Eden in there. Whatever your taste, STRANGE SEX 3 has the scratch for your itch.
As usual, #SS3 is packed with awesome from cover to cover, and there is surely something within it’s pages for everyone’s hidden kink. (If it’s not your kink now – it just might be after you read about it!)
Once again the craziest perverts in the industry have gathered together to give us some of the most fucked up erotica you’re ever likely to read, and a possible #VVD (virtual venereal disease) in the process.
Since this is our third installment of Strange Sex, I’m not going to touch on every story this time. I know, I know… you’re disappointed. Don’t worry – I’m not going to make you walk in to the madness blindly! Here are a few highlights to make sure you don’t stick to the floor…
Billy Tea taught us something very important in #SS2 – Rule 34: If it exists, there’s porn of it. Now, in #SS3, John Bruni teaches us that it doesn’t matter how fucked up something seems… there is ‘A Market For All Things’. People collect weird things – especially Hollywood memorabilia. (I also learned “…they’re not called selfies if there is more than one person in them. Those are ‘usies’.” Thanks, John!!)
Do you remember how you felt when you walked into an ‘adult book store’ for the first time? Mike Lombardo vividly describes Lee’s first excruciating foray into the neon paradise in ‘Just Like The Real Thing’. Poor kid.
There is a scene in Clerks that shows Randal on the phone, placing an order for RST Video – I think Kevin Smith should hire Mike Lombardo as a porn consultant for the filming of Clerks 3…
I’ve always hated when someone refers to themselves as a ‘foodie’, EVERYBODY loves food, right?!MP Johnson shows us how some people just take their love of food to an entirely different, (and lower), level in ‘Combo Platter Number Three’.
I think we can all agree that the ‘auto-correct’ feature on our cell phones was invented by Satan, right? If you’ve ever have had an auto-correct disaster in your life you’ll love the hilarious transcript, ahem… story from Mandy De Sandra – ‘Duck Me In The Bass: An Autocorrect Anal Sex Text Adventure’.
Leonard Delaney tells us a touching story about falling in love, (complete with heartbreak, and betrayal), that almost everyone can relate to in ‘The Office Photocopier Wants To Fuck Me’.
There’s a thin line between love & hate, and ‘Mine’ by Elle Stanger sits dead center. “They say that love can be like a fire, quick and unpredictable. But what they don’t tell you is that love can burn your house down.”