30 Super Hilarious Ways To Say ‘Masturbation’ — Thought Catalog

So you’re feelin’ a little frisky, and can’t wait to get yourself alone for some quality time… Just as you relax enough so that the world melts away, it’s just you and the feelings… your dad/mom busts in – (you forgot to lock your front door, and s/he has no boundaries).

That’s a horror story! It’s at least horrific… Well, I needed a reason to repost – you got something better? Hahaha!! Enjoy this from Thought Catalog –

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows. 2. DJ the VJ. 3. Dopamine farming. 4. Double clicking your mouse. 5. Badgering the witness. 6. Summoning the semen demon. 7. Blood bending. 8. Shaking hands with the unemployed. 9. Making Jesus cry. 10. Five knuckle shuffle. 11. Playing some five on one. 12. Churning the…

30 Super Hilarious Ways To Say ‘Masturbation’ — Thought Catalog